Teachers

Everyone and everything is our teacher, from the duck on the creek that I blogged about previously, to the driver that cut me off then proceeded to stop his car and scream at me, to my beautiful 7-year-old daughter, Lily, to my Maine Coon, Callie. Yes, there are ample opportunities for lessons, but if we're not aware, not present they are missed. They become one more overlooked opportunity for growth as we rush through life.

One of my teachers, Valerie, said her teacher's teacher said when something appears in our lives to just say "that's interesting," instead of labeling it bad, good, whatever. Ponder it, consider it instead of judging it and then say, what am I supposed to learn from this? There's usually a hidden gem that, with patience, will reveal itself.

yogassage

Yeah, I had no idea what that means and what I was in for before last night's class. Once again, it had everything to do with trust, vulnerability, and touch, all of which I've been spending the last year rebuilding. When your trust in someone is shattered, when you feel betrayed, it's all too easy to start constructing the walls, donning the armor, all the other ways we protect ourselves from feeling the pain again, sometimes unconsciously.

Yogassage is a way of helping, gently, tenderly, another yogi arrive into a posture. It's a massage to the shoulders to remind them to drop them away from the ears, pressure up and down the spine to help lengthen, opening the rib cage in supine twist to deepen it, and massaging and opening in final savasana to assist in pure relaxation and surrender. Then the most amazing posture of all: cradling my partner, Laura, in my arms and rocking her, as she did to me when we switched. When is the last time you felt that? As an infant (which I'm sure none of us remember) or a small child. We both cried! It felt amazing to have this pure, innocent, loving gesture. We all need and deserve TLC, especially as adults!

I tell myself every day, countless times a day, that I am so blessed. This teacher training has opened up my eyes and my heart to so many incredible experiences. My heart overflows with gratitude.

Virabhadrasana I ~ Warrior I

Virabhadrasana I, or Warrior I, is one of my favorite poses. I feel strong, yet challenged. When the palms are not touching, I'm expressing extreme gratitude. Virabhadra is the name of the warrior who is an incarnation of Shiva.

Let's take a look at the pose's metaphorical meaning—as is nearly always the case when considering Indian mythical lore. "The yogi is really a warrior against his own ignorance," Richard Rosen says. "I speculate that Virabhadrasana I is about rising up out of your own limitations."

Tim Miller, director of San Diego's Ashtanga Yoga Center, agrees. "Virabhadrasana's a humbling posture," he says. "If you attempt to stay in it for any length of time, you'll confront your own bodily, emotional, or mental weaknesses. Whatever limitations you have, the pose will reveal them so that they can be addressed." It's about triumph of the spirit!

It's okay to be neurotic

Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves, our own judge and jury, myself included. If we lose our tempers, yell at our children, swear at another driver and flip them off (I just had to include that for a friend of mine!), we think we're bad, a bad parent, a rotten spouse, friend, fill in the blank. I had a conversation with my friend Max tonight, wherein he reminded me that it's okay to be neurotic. We slip in and out of neuroses, and it's perfectly natural. Here are some words to describe neurotic!:
anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism.

Boy, haven't we all experienced one (or more than one!) of these before, if not multiple times, in our lives? Guess what? It's OKAY...We're human. We're in tune enough to not get stuck. We let the feelings engulf us and then move on. We don't convince ourselves that nothing is more important than the stuck place we find ourselves in (our neuroses!)

Now open your arms wide, then wrap them around to the back of your shoulder blades and squeeze tightly. Give yourself a loving hug and be grateful for your neuroses, every damn one of them.

Gratitude...for EVERYTHING

I've had the most amazing week of yoga and running. I'm so in tune on the mat, on the trail to my body, my breath, my being. How did this happen? Openness!! I made the choice, I made the decision. I claimed my power. I'm learning not to let that fucking ego take over and try to convince me those "stories" are true, my "baggage" is heavy. One of my favorite tattoo covered (beautiful soul) yoga instructors, Stephen, starts class by saying, "You are an amazing human being. You deserve happiness." I finally honestly believe him.

"With arms wide open under the sunlight"~Creed~ I'm expressing my gratitude with my arms and heart wide open under the stellar Colorado sunlight.

Gettin' upside down (and those tricky arm balances)

Wednesday night was filled with more group practice teaching, (we test out in 2 weeks! I will be a certified yoga teacher in 2 weeks! A dream come true, thanks to you, my generous friends)then playtime with Matt, a mini workshop in inversions and arm balances. As you all know, strength (both mentally and physically) has rarely been a quality that I lack. Fear, on the other hand, is another story.

I've been working on overcoming my fear of being upside down. Well, actually, getting upside down. Will I fall over? Hurt myself? Land on someone and hurt them? The king of asanas, the headstand or sirsasana, is one of the most powerfully beneficial postures for both body and mind. It is largely a matter of conquering your fears and believing you can do it. B.K.S. Iyengar says in his section on sirsasana in Light on Yoga, "The best way to overcome fear is to face with equanimity the situation of which one is afraid."

Wednesday night, I put my head between my hands, lifted my feet off the floor, and was in a headstand before I even had time to think about it! It was so frickin' easy! Handstand is another story...still working on that one. But my fears surrounding handstand have lessened now as well. Masaru Emoto said, "When your heart is open to possibilities, you start to notice small things that can lead to enourmous discoveries." "What we imagine in our mind becomes our world."

If we approach life (and inversions and arm balances) with playfulness and an open heart, with no attachment to the outcome, imagine the possibilities! Sat Nam

Green Tara

I have this picture of Green Tara hanging on my wall in my home. Goddess Tara is a female Buddha (although she originated in Hinduism) and meditational deity. She is considered to be the goddess of universal compassion who represents virtuous and enlightened activity.

She is believed to help her followers overcome dangers, fears and anxieties, and she is especially worshipped for her ability to overcome the most difficult of situations. Green Tara is intensely compassionate and acts quickly to help those who call upon her.

One legend of Tara is that she was born from the compassionate tears of Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of compassion.

She is a constant reminder to me to act compassionately, with unconditional love. And of course she holds my favorite flower, the lotus, in her hands.

Breeze

One of my fellow yoga teacher trainers heard this line in a song called Breeze. How appropriate for the path of service ahead:

This recording is by Xavier Rudd with Izintaba and it's called Koonyum Sun. The song is called Breeze.

"You will breeze in, fresh air that you are, and they will inhale you deep into their lungs. They will exhale you as far as you will go, and you will touch their souls."

I will savor these words...

Sanskrit, the ancient language of yoga

Yesterday we had the pleasure of a Sanskrit workshop with Dr. Ktyayani Poole. She's been studying this beautiful vibrational language for 20 years. See, with Sanskrit, the healing power is in the vibration that is emitted when the words are spoken. What we think is solid is actually waves of vibration, sound. At the base of everything there are only vibrating strings, which produce energy and remove obstacles. Just like my favorite Hindu God, Lord Ganesh, the remover of obstacles. There is a line of energy in the body that matches the way we move into a posture! Therefore, saying the name of a pose in Sanskrit sends a current of energy through your body, matching the way we move into a pose. Amazing!

A little bit about chanting mantras (which I do DAILY). Mantra means to expand the mind. The mind is not separate from the body. Breath follows the mind/body follows the breath. The goal of this is to not be a slave to the judgmental mind, end the "turning of the mind," like a wheel, and to get a glimpse of your true, beautiful, divine self, without judgment or color. And yoga is an education in watching the mind.

Is it so miraculous how this all ties together? I'm so happy to be able to share this knowledge with my friends. This is just the tip of the iceberg for me. I plan to further my education as I continue down this path. Om shanti shanti peace namaste

Touch...Trust...Surrender...Bliss

Last Wednesday night we had 3 hours of partner yoga, which changed my life, opened my heart, deepened my faith and trust in the human spirit. All five senses were awakened. I saw with my heart rather than my eyes. I was able to observe another (therefore myself) with my whole being.

This was an incredibly intimate experience for me (and my partner, Daria, a lovely woman that's in teacher training with me). We stood a foot apart and stared into each other's eyes, no looking away, seeing the depth of the beautiful soul just a foot in front of us. Then we touched palms, closed our eyes, and experienced the gift of just touch, the energy that the other was emitting. Then we moved into poses, back to back, hip to hip, butt to butt, "flying," totally trusting the other would and could support us. Then a back to back meditation. I could feel her heartbeat, feel her breathing. My mind did not wander. It was empty...Samadhi! (meaning free from thoughts) I had truly surrendered. I was at peace.

The power of touch has the ability to change all of us. Touch is good! Touch is a natural act. We exude compassion with every touch.

"When we surrender what we are not, we come into balance with what we are."~a Core Power Teacher Trainee

A trip to the cadaver lab!

As part of teacher training, we take a trip to a cadaver lab. What do those bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, organs, etc., involved in our asanas ACTUALLY look like? I've had weeks to ponder what my reaction might be upon seeing a cadaver, smelling the lab, touching the various parts. I truthfully felt open-minded and open-hearted. No expectations, just anticipation. I have always had a fascination with the human body. I've been a private trainer, a coach, and an accomplished athlete. I marvel at this incredible structure we call home. I've judged people that don't respect and take care of their bodies. I've asked so much of my body, and it has just kept giving, luckily with no injuries.

I drove three other ladies from class down to the lab; some were nervous, scared, some just like me, no expectations. We laughed and joked and shared on the ride as well, most likely to loosen up!

We were greeted by Todd Garcia, the owner of the lab. I felt the gentleness of this man's soul as soon as we made eye contact. He gives all the cadavers names. They're not just a number to him. He calls "dying" their "transition." He treated these bodies with the utmost respect and pleaded with us to do the same. Keikie, one of my classmates and friends, said, what would it be like to be a master at your trade, like this gentleman sincerely was.

He then proceeded to slowly, gently, pull one bone at a time out of the large metal box...everything wrapped in plastic and towels. We started with a knee cap! No whipping the sheet off the body to expose the entire cadaver, which most likely would have caused a few in the room to faint. We started with the lower extremities and moved upward. We wore rubber gloves and were allowed to touched and move every bone and joint. Amazing!

Then came the entire body, skin, muscles, organs, totally dissected. It takes 1000 hours to prepare one body. The work is meticulous, slow, honorable. Once again, we saw and touched every muscle and organ in the body. I won't go into detail, but the human body is mind blowing. All the intricate parts that have their place, yet they work together in such synchronicity.

All of us realized the ridiculousness of placing such emphasis on outer beauty. On the inside, friends, we all look the same, once the skin is peeled away. We are all truly beautiful, magnificent, perfect.

What a gift I was given to be able to visit a cadaver lab. I thanked Todd, our host, and Francis, Matthew, Michael, and Vincent for donating their bodies so that other may have this incredible opportunity to learn.

"If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred.”~Walt Whitman

To lead forth or draw out

The Latin term for educate is educere, meaning to lead forth or draw out. Being a yoga teacher means, then, to help my students discover what's already inside themselves...the beauty, the perfection, the divinity. These qualities have been layered over by years of stories, painful experiences, role playing.

I have my favorite teachers, not because of the music they play, how hard their class is, but by how they challenge me to look at my life! I appreciate that quality in my teachers and aspire to play that role in the lives of my future students.

What role can I play in the newly discovered self that walks off the mat???