Teachers

Everyone and everything is our teacher, from the duck on the creek that I blogged about previously, to the driver that cut me off then proceeded to stop his car and scream at me, to my beautiful 7-year-old daughter, Lily, to my Maine Coon, Callie. Yes, there are ample opportunities for lessons, but if we're not aware, not present they are missed. They become one more overlooked opportunity for growth as we rush through life.

One of my teachers, Valerie, said her teacher's teacher said when something appears in our lives to just say "that's interesting," instead of labeling it bad, good, whatever. Ponder it, consider it instead of judging it and then say, what am I supposed to learn from this? There's usually a hidden gem that, with patience, will reveal itself.

yogassage

Yeah, I had no idea what that means and what I was in for before last night's class. Once again, it had everything to do with trust, vulnerability, and touch, all of which I've been spending the last year rebuilding. When your trust in someone is shattered, when you feel betrayed, it's all too easy to start constructing the walls, donning the armor, all the other ways we protect ourselves from feeling the pain again, sometimes unconsciously.

Yogassage is a way of helping, gently, tenderly, another yogi arrive into a posture. It's a massage to the shoulders to remind them to drop them away from the ears, pressure up and down the spine to help lengthen, opening the rib cage in supine twist to deepen it, and massaging and opening in final savasana to assist in pure relaxation and surrender. Then the most amazing posture of all: cradling my partner, Laura, in my arms and rocking her, as she did to me when we switched. When is the last time you felt that? As an infant (which I'm sure none of us remember) or a small child. We both cried! It felt amazing to have this pure, innocent, loving gesture. We all need and deserve TLC, especially as adults!

I tell myself every day, countless times a day, that I am so blessed. This teacher training has opened up my eyes and my heart to so many incredible experiences. My heart overflows with gratitude.

Virabhadrasana I ~ Warrior I

Virabhadrasana I, or Warrior I, is one of my favorite poses. I feel strong, yet challenged. When the palms are not touching, I'm expressing extreme gratitude. Virabhadra is the name of the warrior who is an incarnation of Shiva.

Let's take a look at the pose's metaphorical meaning—as is nearly always the case when considering Indian mythical lore. "The yogi is really a warrior against his own ignorance," Richard Rosen says. "I speculate that Virabhadrasana I is about rising up out of your own limitations."

Tim Miller, director of San Diego's Ashtanga Yoga Center, agrees. "Virabhadrasana's a humbling posture," he says. "If you attempt to stay in it for any length of time, you'll confront your own bodily, emotional, or mental weaknesses. Whatever limitations you have, the pose will reveal them so that they can be addressed." It's about triumph of the spirit!

It's okay to be neurotic

Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves, our own judge and jury, myself included. If we lose our tempers, yell at our children, swear at another driver and flip them off (I just had to include that for a friend of mine!), we think we're bad, a bad parent, a rotten spouse, friend, fill in the blank. I had a conversation with my friend Max tonight, wherein he reminded me that it's okay to be neurotic. We slip in and out of neuroses, and it's perfectly natural. Here are some words to describe neurotic!:
anxiety, sadness or depression, anger, irritability, mental confusion, low sense of self-worth, etc., behavioral symptoms such as phobic avoidance, vigilance, impulsive and compulsive acts, lethargy, etc., cognitive problems such as unpleasant or disturbing thoughts, repetition of thoughts and obsession, habitual fantasizing, negativity and cynicism, etc. Interpersonally, neurosis involves dependency, aggressiveness, perfectionism.

Boy, haven't we all experienced one (or more than one!) of these before, if not multiple times, in our lives? Guess what? It's OKAY...We're human. We're in tune enough to not get stuck. We let the feelings engulf us and then move on. We don't convince ourselves that nothing is more important than the stuck place we find ourselves in (our neuroses!)

Now open your arms wide, then wrap them around to the back of your shoulder blades and squeeze tightly. Give yourself a loving hug and be grateful for your neuroses, every damn one of them.

Gratitude...for EVERYTHING

I've had the most amazing week of yoga and running. I'm so in tune on the mat, on the trail to my body, my breath, my being. How did this happen? Openness!! I made the choice, I made the decision. I claimed my power. I'm learning not to let that fucking ego take over and try to convince me those "stories" are true, my "baggage" is heavy. One of my favorite tattoo covered (beautiful soul) yoga instructors, Stephen, starts class by saying, "You are an amazing human being. You deserve happiness." I finally honestly believe him.

"With arms wide open under the sunlight"~Creed~ I'm expressing my gratitude with my arms and heart wide open under the stellar Colorado sunlight.

Gettin' upside down (and those tricky arm balances)

Wednesday night was filled with more group practice teaching, (we test out in 2 weeks! I will be a certified yoga teacher in 2 weeks! A dream come true, thanks to you, my generous friends)then playtime with Matt, a mini workshop in inversions and arm balances. As you all know, strength (both mentally and physically) has rarely been a quality that I lack. Fear, on the other hand, is another story.

I've been working on overcoming my fear of being upside down. Well, actually, getting upside down. Will I fall over? Hurt myself? Land on someone and hurt them? The king of asanas, the headstand or sirsasana, is one of the most powerfully beneficial postures for both body and mind. It is largely a matter of conquering your fears and believing you can do it. B.K.S. Iyengar says in his section on sirsasana in Light on Yoga, "The best way to overcome fear is to face with equanimity the situation of which one is afraid."

Wednesday night, I put my head between my hands, lifted my feet off the floor, and was in a headstand before I even had time to think about it! It was so frickin' easy! Handstand is another story...still working on that one. But my fears surrounding handstand have lessened now as well. Masaru Emoto said, "When your heart is open to possibilities, you start to notice small things that can lead to enourmous discoveries." "What we imagine in our mind becomes our world."

If we approach life (and inversions and arm balances) with playfulness and an open heart, with no attachment to the outcome, imagine the possibilities! Sat Nam

Green Tara

I have this picture of Green Tara hanging on my wall in my home. Goddess Tara is a female Buddha (although she originated in Hinduism) and meditational deity. She is considered to be the goddess of universal compassion who represents virtuous and enlightened activity.

She is believed to help her followers overcome dangers, fears and anxieties, and she is especially worshipped for her ability to overcome the most difficult of situations. Green Tara is intensely compassionate and acts quickly to help those who call upon her.

One legend of Tara is that she was born from the compassionate tears of Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of compassion.

She is a constant reminder to me to act compassionately, with unconditional love. And of course she holds my favorite flower, the lotus, in her hands.